My rising high school senior son visited my alma mater this weekend with my wife and daughter. He liked it... a lot... on a par with a handful of other schools, but through college visit #15 (or so), he still hasn’t had that “this is where I absolutely want to be†moment. This may be a good thing because who wants to have that feeling and then not get in. And getting in these days is a chore. The college admissions landscape is brutal, especially among the upper tier of schools. You would think with our prolonged economic downturn that the competition would have leveled off. Instead, the last 2-3 years were the most competitive ever with many schools hitting record lows for admissions rates. Supposedly the baby boomer effect has peaked. We’ll see.
I’ve procrastinated on blogging about college search and premier youth soccer, which is odd given that these are two of my prime blog categories, and especially given the amount of space that these topics take up in my head on a daily basis. I’ve hesitated in part because I have too much to say, and no one will want to slog his way through a 100 page blog post. So I’m not quite sure how to manage all of the thoughts and information in the blogging arena. And then there is the small problem of what I’m going to be revealing about myself when these topics should be all about my son, and very shortly, also my daughter. Well, WTF, if I’m really serious about this whole blogging gig I’ll just have to cope with that. So let’s plunge ahead with part #1.
What does youth soccer have to do with a college search? Everything, or maybe nothing. Soccer is the world’s game, but in this country, and especially at the progressively more elite levels, a certain demographic tends to dominate. Not as badly as with lacrosse, or tennis, or squash, but definitely more so than the major sports. And because of the starting ages — 4, 5, 6 — almost all youth are exposed to soccer, including great athletes who move on to other sports during the latency or early teen years. Out of the many millions who have at least some exposure to the game, there will be a funneling down to maybe a few thousand looking for soccer to provide an edge as they enter the vast pool of bright, talented kids seeking admission to selective colleges and universities. The youth soccer demographic is such that a good percentage of these soccer kids will be vying for spots at the most selective schools.
By age 6 or 7, you know if you have a good soccer player on your hands, and by 9 or 10, you at least think you know if you have a player who might be kind of special. By then, your kid may be clearly the best at his age in your town, or depending on the size of the town, one of the best. And he or she might be one of the best in a 3 or 4 town area that you know about. What you don’t fully appreciate at that point is the fact that there may be hundreds of kids just as good and better across your whole state, and literally many thousands across the country. So, without knowing what you’ll know when your kid is 15, 16, 17, the damage already is done. The bug already has bitten — for your kid and for you.
Your kid is 9 or 10 — or for some it’s 7 or 8 or earlier — and you’re staring in the face of this thing called premier club soccer. You’ve found a team with most of the best players in a 30-45 miles radius, and if you haven’t already cognitively linked college with soccer, you will have within a week of meeting the other gracious and lovely parents. Within 2-3 years assuming your child still is faring fairly well, you’re looking for better teams, higher competition, and more out-of-state tournaments. You’re exploring special programs like ODP (Olympic Development Program) and looking ahead to the possibility of the new DAP (US Developmental Academy), the most elite and exclusive youth soccer program in the country. It goes without saying that you’ve already attended a bunch of special clinics and camps, spent hundreds of dollars on skills training DVDs, and monitored your kid’s soccer juggling progress. You don’t necessarily think your kid is destined for a professional soccer career (although you know at least a few parents with a glimmer of hope who arrange some training with a professional club’s youth academy while they’re “doing Europeâ€). But you do think that a college soccer future is well within reach — maybe NCAA Division 1 with perhaps some scholarship money, or at least Division 3 with soccer helping push your kid over the admit line at a very, very good school.
Occasionally you’ll run into some geezer who says he’s been through the whole circuit before, and he’ll try to share a little perspective with you... let a little air out of the obsessional bubble that you’re inhabiting. You don’t listen, and you chalk this up to his kid must have sucked. And anyway, the stakes seem too high, especially if all seems to be moving rather smoothly towards the goal. And after all, your kid absolutely loves soccer and he’s having a great time with all of his soccer friends. Soccer is your kid’s passion for god sakes so who are you to stand in the way.
And then puberty hits. Some get a bounce from an early puberty, and some have a temporary setback. Some who got the bounce appear well on their way to at least some decent college soccer, but then age 14 turns out to have been their peak. It’s not always clear-cut. There are good patches, surges, setbacks, and for many just enough good stuff to stay in the hunt. And there is a substantial youth soccer business very willing to feed you whatever you need to stay in the hunt. And believe me, we parents want to be fed. With each year, though, big doses of reality are tough to dodge. Maybe a kid isn’t going to be fast enough, or big enough, or skilled enough, or smart or hungry enough. Tough lessons, for the kid and parents, and the lessons aren’t learned — they’re more sensed, then denied, sensed some more, denied more strongly... working your way back and forth towards some outcome gradually coming into focus but delayed by blurring because we need to blur.
Remember, the worst case scenario was supposed to Division 3 soccer at a wonderful college. And even with all the lumps and lessons (sort of) learned along the road, your kid is still the best in town, still one of the best in the area. He’s had a strong junior year in high school and he’s going to be a Captain for senior year. He’s still playing at a relatively high level for one of the best premier club teams in the state. Division 3 soccer at a great college doesn’t seem too greedy. That’s not too much to ask. No one’s called yet for recruiting because for Division 3 you let the college know that you want to play for them, right? I mean, it’s Division 3 and my kid is still a really good player. How tough can it be?
And so you head out and visit these colleges of your, umm, kid’s dreams. You already know that without help from soccer with admissions that you’re likely a rejection, at least at the 3 or 4 schools you want the most where perhaps your kid is within range academically but without soccer may fall short on the something-extra-special criterion. Soccer is going to be the deal-clincher, the passion that is going to put your kid over the top. You’ve exchanged a few emails with the coach, and you’re feeling pretty good as you sit down to meet. Then you see this board with 75-100 names on it, and you recognize some of the names because your kid has played against those kids. The coach tells you he’s actually had email correspondence with more than 500 kids. Your and your kid’s hearts sink in unison as the coach offers a lukewarm “let’s make sure we keep in touch.â€
A gorgeous day, walking around one of America’s beautiful college campuses with almost 200 years of ivory tower history... opportunity, belonging, future, dreams... hanging in the breeze.